Skip to main content

One Year Later

On November 8th 2011 I woke up at six AM, even though I had the day off due to election day. I confused all the nurses in the pre-op area with a smile of excitement  This was it the last leg in this nightmare, I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was going to finally find out what was wrong with my L knee, and better yet get it fixed. I will be able to actually straighten it. Yes, that day I smiled as I thought I was going to get my life back.
Leaving the Hospital

One year later on the same day I am so far from the mind set I was on that day, but not in the way I would have hoped. Today I was talking to one of my teachers about my hips (as she also has a fair amount of trouble with her hips) and she commented on how well I was handling everything mentally. It took all my strength not to start laughing and crying at the same time.

I do not know where I am at emotionally at this point in time, but it feels very far from the optimistic girl excited to have knee surgery a year ago. Instead I will try anything to make the pain go away but have faith in nothing. I miss being an optimist, everything is better as a optimist.

My knee scope was a turning point. Originally I thought it was a good one, after all I improved for a while afterwards I even reached full ROM for the first time in over eight months. Now I realize it just marked the beginning of the worst. It was the first surgery, but I know it will not be the last.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Feeding Tube Awareness Week Day 1

Today is the beginning of feeding tube awareness week! A year ago if you had told me I would be feeding tube dependent in less than 6 months I would be feeding tube dependent I would say that's crazy. Anyways here I am and its not super scary like one might think.


Day 1: Talk about the reasons you, your child, or your loved one is tube fed. Raise awareness of the medical conditions that made tube feeding necessary.
I am tube fed because I have gastroparesis and dysautonomia.
Gastroparesis: Delayed stomach emptying, which means I can not tolerate normal amounts of food because it doesn't leave my stomach as fast as it should. The symptoms include feeling full, nausea, and vomiting (there are many others, these are just the ones I deal with the most). Gastroparesis is caused by nerves not firing and telling the stomach to empty. Due to gastroparesis I can only consume a few hundred calories a day so I receive most of them through my tube that goes into my small intestines instead…

The Swollen Wrist

This morning I woke up to a red painful swollen wrist. My right wrist was not happy or useable for the better part of the morning. Of course my mom wanted to make a rheumatologist appointment for this week but I really did not think it is worth it. Since I am now in the 2 week period before my hip surgery I can not take anything but Tylenol anyway (no voltaren or fancy cream), so there is not a whole lot that can be done. We finally settled on me going to my GP (for the 2nd time in one week as I had a pre-op appointment with him on Monday), and I took a picture so I can show my rheumy at my next appointment.

I managed to get an appointment at 11AM because my GP was in the office this Saturday. By the time of the appointment my wrist looked pretty normal, although I had the picture so he could see something was up. He had it x-rayed just to rule out any issues non rheumatology related, and as we both guessed the x-rays came out normal.

I was left with the advise to call me rheumy Monda…

Cellcept, Methotrexate, and Rituxan, Oh My!

So while it has only been 3 months since I last wrote instead of 6 months, a lot of things have happened with my health. After student teaching I refuse to be on prednisone for a little while. That didn't go so well and there was a month full of ulcers. I couldn't talk, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep much. I was not a happy or pleasant human being, which is all the things I hate about being on it. At this point they were running down my throat and I could not swallow. So after a month of this it was time for camp and that meant I needed to be able to talk without wanting to cry and I gave in to the steroids and have been on the highest daily dose yet ever since. Also Behcet's now seems to be the responsible disease for at least this mess.


Meanwhile my ability to swallow liquids has also struggled. Most of the time it was pretty solid but more times than I would like I cannot seem to get the coordination down and it seems to go down the wrong pipe and cause a lot …