I Am Still Me

In the past two years it seems like my medical issues have become part of my identity. I am the girl always on crutches or limping, the one who doesn't participate in gym. No one asks where I am if I am not it class, they know I was probably at a doctor's appointment or if I come in a period or two late my friends know my shoulders are probably having a bad day so I had to take a bath to get rid of morning stiffness. I am not sure when it happened but people are now more surprised when I can walk then when I can't. 

Sometimes it is really hard for me to move past the medical parts of my life, because it does affect all the others, but it is important that I do. I try to do everything I used to do, which is hard but aside from athletic activities I have done a pretty good job managing. I can't always do everything I want to but I prioritize. 

There are a couple things I refuse to let my health affect. Debate is something I don't let get affected, since I have to commit in advance to a partner and I hate breaking commitments I have managed to go to every single debate I signed up for (even though there were a few I just knew I couldn't handle). Another facet of my life I have not allowed to change it my job. I work at an after school childcare elementary school and while it can be taxing I love it, and I know if there is a sub it affects the students, and I can't bare to do that.
My Best Friend/Debate Partner(right) and Me(left) at State Debate Finals

There are two things that really help me, hope and perspective. (and music never hurts!)

Hope is something I refuse to lose. I have kept it for this long and I am finally seeing progress in my treatment. Voltaren seems to be the answer to my prayers because I have been more pain-free this weekend then it the years before. After all if you do hit rock bottom that only means the only place you can go is up.

Perspective is so important. A year ago today I was on the March of the Living. A year ago today I walked out of Auschwitz, that is am amazing statement. I will never forget that, it will always help me look at life in a more positive manner. I walked out of the place my great-grandparents died because of there religion.

Walking out of Auschwitz

3 comments:

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