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No, I'm Not!

Ever get a compliment that you just really feel like you don't deserve? I have had a few of those lately and they seem to highlight some sort of insecurities I have.

I think I already wrote about the time someone told me how well I am handling everything, but at the time I really wasn't. I was about two seconds away from a complete break down. Now even though I am doing better I think I might still feel awkward if someone said that to me.

Another one I hate is when people say "Your so brave for going through this." Wait! You mean I have another choice? If I could avoid the medical mess I currently find myself in I would, but I can't. I would love to not go for blood test monthly or doctors almost weekly, and I definitely would rather not be having surgery in a month. But my body never asked permission before freaking out on me.

The Last one is "You are so responsible," but truth is once again I have no choice. I really think if any other person my age was in my situation, missing as much school as I do on a regular basis they would also quickly become responsible. Also if I forget to do something like take my medication I pay for it later on. Life has forced me to be responsible, I really wish I didn't have to be.

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