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Limbo:(

What real is driving my crazy right now is this limbo I am in. While I almost defiantly have RA or some form of auto-immune arthritis it has been officially diagnosed yet, and is still probably a week away from being diagnosed. As someone who has (or had pre auto-immune disease) the next six years of her life carefully planned out, and a rough outline for the rest of it I am having the most issues with the uncertainty.

I will probably be looking at medical treatments on a daily basis for the rest of my life, I have no idea what type or haw it will affect my life. Re-planning my life seems like giving up, but if I act like nothing is going to have to change is that denial? I feel like I am walking a fine line here, and a dotted one at that.

On one hand I feel like it is silly to freak out about something that is not even official yet on the other hand if I ignore it that would be like I am in denial. Neither option is currently helping me, nor is Google.

Its just scary to think how much my life has changed from two weeks ago. I always said to myself "at least it is only orthopedic issues you have, those are fixable" but now it's not just orthopedic, it's not "fixable."

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