I am not sure where I am going with this blog post but it will probably end up being a warning to all of those people who bite off more than you can chew like me. I also just need to try to calm my mind that feels like it is going a million miles a minute, as a result my writing may be all over the place. I am thinking writing will help.
Tonight I ended up near tears because I lent my pen to someone and they returned it without the cap. On the ground crawling around for the pen cap I realized I may have over done life this week and I needed chocolate or ice cream or more likely both. I wanted to think about all the things that had lead me here so in the future I could prevent such break downs from occurring in the future.
First off there is some medical stuff that is definitely going in to play here. A few weeks after being diagnosed with Sjogren's my POTS symptoms were acting up and I email rheum instead of cardio this time since we now know the cause. We decided to see if upping the prednisone would help and it did but prednisone side effects suck. I was actually doing okay till I had an endoscopy and they gave me an IV dose and then I didn't sleep for a week. Then last week I had a fever and need another stress dose which messed with my moods. Being a camp counselor who is having mood swings thanks to prednisone is not fun! For the few days after that dose everything seemed to make me irrationally annoyed, I try to pick and choose my battles with the 6 year olds but prednisone made that really hard, so I seemed to constantly be calming myself down in my head. I like to think I was at least aware of the fact it was the steriods making me angry and what the children where doing was not that bad and did not take it out on them.
This week has been a little better in terms of side effects but the weaning off the stress dose of 20mg to my current normal dose of 10mg has left me exhausted (yet still oddly wired?). To make matters worse I have also probably bit off a little more than I can chew. It is the first week of classes as well as the last week of camp. Since camp was really short staffed and I really need the money I agreed to work when not in class, which is most of camp hours. Besides having a night class yesterday and tomorrow I had the opening teachers meeting for Hebrew School today. Yikes. So I went to class, then work and camp then work at Hebrew school. By the end of the meeting I had stuff everywhere, my ride waiting for me, and the cap of one of my new pens missing.
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| Look how nice they are! |
In my defense the pens are a set that come in a case and need the cap to fit properly and my planner is already color codded. Also I am going to blame prednisone for making me crazy. On the bright side hopefully we can wean my pred dose at my rheum appointment next week. I am also seeing endocrine in a few weeks to deal with the whole long term steriod issues thing.
Lesson of the day- Prednisone makes Joan crazy but over committing herself makes everything that much worse and leads to freaking out over silly things.
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