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Why I Should Not be Pitied

During my last Rheumatologist appointment at the very end my doctor, who spends everyday seeing children with rheumatic conditions, gave me the most heartbreaking look of pity ever saying that I need many doctors just not her right now. This was not how I pictured the appointment where my joints were finally doing well to go. In my head I figured if I ever got to a point where I could go a full year without seeing a rheumatologist it would be a happy occasion. This had been the appointment I had been waiting for and my joints behaved as I wanted them to. Yet the look the doctor gave me at the end is what is ingrained in my memory.

Yes, I am sick. No, I do not enjoy getting about 95% of my nutrition through a tube. Yes, I wish I could reliably stay vertical whenever I please. Yes, I do miss gluten sometimes. Heres the thing though, even though I wish my health was different, if changing it meant I risk changing other aspects of my life I would keep everything the same.

My life is pretty darn good. I am a college student that loves my major. I am working towards my dreams, getting closer everyday. Unlike many of my friends who spend hours looking for jobs to no avail, I practically fell into two jobs, both of which I love. One job I would have never gotten if it was not for being diagnosed with Celiac during my Freshman year. On top of work I am part of a couple amazing student organization that give me leadership roles and the opportunity to help others. Best of all I have the most awesome people I know as friends who always pick me up when I fall down (some of which I met because of my horrible health).
Impromptu Concert in NYC

Cause what's better than lying in a hammock and laughing till you cry?

Classy Roomie Dates!

One of the most amazing people I would have never met if I wasn't sick!

I may not have my health but I have so much more. My life is better than many people I know who are completely healthy. That is why you should not pity me, because my life is pretty amazing.


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I probably could not function without my Sun Beam Heat Pad. Most nights I can not choose which joint to use it on first. When I got it last year to calm muscle spasms after knee surgery I did not know how much I would use it. There is even a pad inside that you can dampen so you can use it for moist heat. I got it from Wal-Mart and I don't think it was even $15.
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