Skip to main content

A Letter to The Battles I Have Fought

Dear Illnesses,

Enthesitis- You are my oldest constant companion. For years no doctor could find you and yet I was well aware of your presence. At age 10 you started to attack me, stripping me of my active lifestyle. For all you took away from me you have given me just as much if not more. You taught me how to fight and that doctors do not always know best. You taught me perseverance from a young age. Without you I do not think I would be able to handle my other health issues. Thank you for preparing me for the world. I wish you waited a little longer to show up but I am glad you came.

Uveitis- You took me by surprise, possibly the only condition to accomplish that. I will never forget the day you were found in my left eye. I was scared and not sure what lied ahead. I still have a fear of eye drops and all things near my eye thanks to you. You taught me sometimes I have to do things I hate but thats just the way it is.

AMPS/RSD- You were the first to affect my nervous system, foreshadowing my future. You taught me to work hard even when the goal seemed unachievable. I learned about persistence the hard way thanks to you. The lesson, slow and steady wins the race became my motto to defeat you.

Celiac- Your timing was just about as bad as it could have been. The week before finals my first semester of college. You taught me how to make my voice heard, how to stand up for myself. You made me outspoken and to let people know what I need. You taught me to be creative and how to make a gourmet meal in a microwave,

Gastroparesis- I do not even know what to say to you. You have taken away one of the most basic joys in my life. I have had to adjust myself to you and your needs. Controlling does not even begin to describe you . Yet you have taught me to enjoy the little things in life. I no longer take being able to enjoy a small piece of chocolate for granted.

POTS/Dysautonomia- We are still getting to know each other. At least you had the decency to first show your affects on me in front of every single doctor on the GI wing, a double edge sword. You are a tricky one, most doctors do not know what to make of you. You have taught me how integral planning is, how the smallest mistake can take a week to fix. On the bright side you have given me an hour of relaxation once a week during my infusions.

As a group you guys have tested me, put me through the ringer. Yet the struggle has made me stronger. I am now equipped with confidence and integrity. When I look back on all I have faced and the battles I have fought I know I can push forward. For that I thank you.

Sincerely,
Joan

After a Battle Well Fought


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Swollen Wrist

This morning I woke up to a red painful swollen wrist. My right wrist was not happy or useable for the better part of the morning. Of course my mom wanted to make a rheumatologist appointment for this week but I really did not think it is worth it. Since I am now in the 2 week period before my hip surgery I can not take anything but Tylenol anyway (no voltaren or fancy cream), so there is not a whole lot that can be done. We finally settled on me going to my GP (for the 2nd time in one week as I had a pre-op appointment with him on Monday), and I took a picture so I can show my rheumy at my next appointment. I managed to get an appointment at 11AM because my GP was in the office this Saturday. By the time of the appointment my wrist looked pretty normal, although I had the picture so he could see something was up. He had it x-rayed just to rule out any issues non rheumatology related, and as we both guessed the x-rays came out normal. My Lovely Wrist this Morning I was left wit...

The Essentials

RA Warrior is doing a blog carnival about non-medical things that help ease some pain or make life a little easier. I have a few golden product so I have decided to participate. I probably could not function without my Sun Beam Heat Pad. Most nights I can not choose which joint to use it on first. When I got it last year to calm muscle spasms after knee surgery I did not know how much I would use it. There is even a pad inside that you can dampen so you can use it for moist heat. I got it from Wal-Mart and I don't think it was even $15. This Teavana Tumbler is actually my favorite thing ever. I use it everyday for both tea and coffee. Even before I had problems with my hands I have always been a naturally clumsy person, and leaky travel mugs might hold up for most but for me they have always been a recipe for disaster. Now throw in a pair of crutches to that equation, as I had to for three months last year, and I needed help to carry the travel mugs, because in my bag...

30 Things You May Not Know About My Invisible Illness

I am doing this post for invisible illness week which is this week.  1. The illness I live with is: Enthesitis, Amplified Musculoskeletal Pain(AMP), and Uveitis 2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: Uveitis-2012, Enthesitis and AMP-2013 3. But I had symptoms since: 2006 4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: I have had to learn I can't do everything I want or everything that other people my age are doing. 5. Most people assume: I am perfectly fine or I just have osteoarthritis and not an autoimmune disease. 6. The hardest part about mornings are: Getting out of bed, doing my hair, and figuring out what outfit will be the most comfortable for the day (and accommodate any swelling I may have) 7. My favorite medical TV show is: Grey's Anatomy (and Scrubs even if it is no longer on) 8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My Freezer 9. The hardest part about nights are: Not being able to fall asleep in a comfortable pos...